Mallock the Malign vs. Captain Brickbeard vs. Dr. Inferno vs. K-2SO
Amset-Ra is heading down one of the halls en route to the arena. He meets K-2SO. Amset-Ra: Long time no see. It's amazing you made it this far. K-2SO: I am inclined to agree. The competition appears to be difficult. Amset-Ra: You betcha. The Priest of the Tee-Vee enters. Priest of the Tee-Vee: K-2SO, may I see you in private? K-2SO: Certainly. They leave. Amset-Ra: I wonder what that meeting will be about. Pharaoh Hotep enters. Amset-Ra: Who are you rooting tonight, Dad? Pharaoh Hotep: I'm going with Dr. Inferno. He beat Alien Queen, who beat me. Isn't her name Hypocrite or something? Amset-Ra: They pronounce it Hypo-something or whatever. Pharaoh Hotep: Hypothermia, yes. Amset-Ra: No, that's not quite right, either... Well, are you too surprised that K-2SO made it to Round 3? Pharaoh Hotep: Yes. I'm more surprised about Captain Brickbeard, though. I thought his pegleg would get him in trouble. Amset-Ra: Yeah, he had to use it as cannon fodder during a battle with the Insectoids. Pharaoh Hotep: Which ones? Amset-Ra: The original Insectoids, not the Selvans. Pharaoh Hotep: Gotcha. Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta do something random and evil. He leaves. Amset-Ra: This intro is mighty boring... Oh no? Frenzy: COOKING WITH A CRAZY CROOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wyldstyle: NO. Amset-Ra: That didn't really happen! Yes it did. Amset-Ra: Nah, I don't think so. Anyway, it's battle time! Wyldstyle: Welcome to Amset-Ra's Rubik's Pyr- Meca One: ERROR. LAWS OF PHYSICS DEFIED. TAKE BACK YOUR EARLIER STATEMENTS. Wyldstyle: Uh... sure! In the Red Corner is the escaped convict from The Adventures of Clutch Powers, Mallock the Malign! Oh, and where are Omega and Squidman? Mallock: Squidman works with Frenzy on his cooking show. Omega got a great-paying job as substitute Space Police commissioner. Wyldstyle: Wow... in the Green Corner, Say ahoy to Captain Brickbeard! Captain Brickbeard: Ahoy, meself! If ye be in a pickle, just fire yer pegleg and hope ye sprout a new one like I did! Mallock: I'm not a pirate, and I know it doesn't work that way. Wyldstyle: In the Yellow Corner, our own mad scientist, Dr. Inferno! Dr. Inferno: A wizard, a pirate, and a rogue droid. Child's play for a guy with an IQ of 250 1/2. Wyldstyle: How can you even get half an IQ point? Dr. Inferno: My dog ate part of my IQ quiz, so I got half a question. Wyldstyle: Ah. In the Blue Corner, the Rogue One droid from the new Star Wars movie, K-2SO! K-2SO: Prepare to fall to the rebellion. Mallock: You're rebelling against the Empire, right. 'Cause you sould like you're rebelling against us. Dr. Inferno: Actually, he is. Actually, we're all rebelling against each other, every day we hold a match. Amset-Ra: I never thought of it that way. Wait, who's our predictor? Sir Fangar: Your glooooooooorious predictor shall be none other than thee glooooooorious Sir Fangar. Amset-Ra: Here we go again... Sir Fangar: Without further ingloooooorious ado, I shall begin my glooooooorious prediction. Mallock is quite capable of casting glooooooorious spells, Captain Brickbeard could build himself a glooooooorious cannon out of not-so-glooooooorious pirate ship wrecks, Dr. Inferno could blast through his opponents with a glooooooorious laser blast, and K-2SO is basically a joke. My gloooooorious nomination shall go to K-2SO. Audience: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! Sir Fangar: I was let in on a gloooooorious secret of his this morning. Audience: TELL US! TELL US! TELL US! Sir Fangar: No. Amset: Let the rebellion begin! GOOOOOOONG! Amset-Ra: All right, who's the joker (or jester) who brought that thing back here?! The Joker: Ooh, how in the world did you know? Jestro: We just wanted to prank you. Amset-Ra: Take that thing to the trash heap out back, and let the real rebellion begin. ???: Not so fast. Wyldstyle: That voice... it sounds so familiar... Amset-Ra: It came from K-2SO, but it's not his voice... K-2SO starts to break apart. In his place is... Drumroll, please... Audience: YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! TEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-VEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! That's right. Tee-Vee is standing among the broken piece of K-2SO. On his screen is an angry Priest of the Tee-Vee. Sir Fangar: So my glooooorious vote was worth something after all... Dr. Inferno: All right, what do you want? Priest of the Tee-Vee: Standing before you is the almighty, benevolent, creative, delightful, endeavoring, faithful, etc. Tee-Vee. You have caused his downfall. Now you will all pay. Dr. Inferno: Everyone get Tee-Vee! Brickbeard: Gladly, matey. Priest of the Tee-Vee: What happened to "every minifigure for himself"? Dr. Inferno: Not when sabotage and trickery are involved. Priest of the Tee-Vee: Tee-Vee, show these inferiors your true might. Tee-Vee: Initiating jetpack. Fwooosh! Tee-Vee: Initiating force field. Vorp! Mallock: Flight and force fields are mo match for my magic! Priest of the Tee-Vee: Or so your twisted little mind believes. Dr. Inferno: Where's the real K-2SO? Priest of the Tee-Vee: I drugged him. Dr. Inferno: Don't make me laugh! You can't merely drug a robot! Priest of the Tee-Vee: That's droid, and I can and did. Dr. Inferno: Construct! Tee-Vee: Boot decreativity beam. Amset-Ra: Now just a minute! You're supposed to be creative! Now I know you're a phony! CORONA! The corona breaks through the force field and propels Tee-Vee out of the arena. Amset-Ra: I swear that priest looked like Cyrus Borg... Mallock: Now we can fight in peace! Magic force field! Dr. Inferno: Construct! Brickbeard: Summon! Amset-Ra: Nope! Brickbeard: Shiver me timbers... Mallock: Valor boost! Dr. Inferno: Crystal power! Brickbeard: Mega cannon of awesome doom! Mallock and Dr. Inferno stare at him. Brickbeard: But it be a mega cannon of- Dr. Inferno: Awesome doom, I know. But it still won't get you anywhere. Brickbeard: But I used various hammerheads fer me ammo! Dr. Inferno: Hammerheads? Brickbeard: Sure! Dwalin's hammerhead, Amy Rose's hammerhead, Macy's macehead, Hammerhead Guardians, and a couple anvils to boot! Dr. Inferno: And you call that ammo. Brickbeard: Aye, matey! Mallock: Such fools you've made yourselves... Magnetize! Chink! Dr. Inferno: I'm stuck! Mallock: That's the point! Brickbeard: I be late for me meeting with the senator! Mallock: Too much political stuff these days. Dr. Inferno: I'll get you to the senator's office, if I can only reach the blast button on my laser cannon... Mallock: I reprogrammed it while you were saying all that. Dr. Inferno: Oh... Well, I still have my mech! CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK Mallock: HEY! No creativity! Dr. Inferno: You gotta be creative to remove creativity, you know. Mallock: I should have known! Dr. Inferno: But you didn't, and now it's too late. Brickbeard: I be free! Fortunately yer spell be short-lived! Mallock: But not this one. BLAST! Brickbeard: YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRI'llbeback!RRRRRGGGGgggggg- Ding! Wyldstyle: Just pretend I was announcing before this line even thought I wasn't. With a single powerful magic blast, Brickbeard was sent sailing out of the arena! Mallock: Now... it's just you and me, Dr. Inferno. Wait, plan your strategy. I gotta make an important call. He pulls out a holocommunicator and dials Omega. Answering Machine: ♪Everything is awesome♪ Please wait. Your call is important to us. ♪Everything is cool♪ Mallock: I don't have time for this! Dr. Inferno: You will, now that you're standing outside the ring. Mallock: WHAT?! Dr. Inferno: While you were busy, I just grabbed the ropes with my robot's arm (you know, the one that doesn't toast, grill, or flambe things) and positioned them so that you're outside them. Oh, I should probably let go. TWANG! Mallock: Nononononononono- Crash! Wyldstyle: I'm sorry, but you're not allowed in here. Have a nice day. Oh, and can I keep your hat? She shoves him out of the announcer's booth and dons Mallock's hat, them pulls out a mirror. Wyldstyle: Nice. Dr. Inferno: YES! I'M GOING TO THE FINALS! Amset-Ra: I gotta find out more about this Tee-Vee impostor. A few Anubis Guards report to Amset-Ra in his office. Anubis Guard: The Priest of the Tee-Vee says he didn't do it, and Cyrus Borg doesn't remember the event. Amset-Ra: This could be interesting. Anubis Guard: Oh, and Tee-Vee wasn't damaged in the least. Amset-Ra: Then that must have been the real Tee-Vee. Looks like it's time for another megastory! See the Fighter Rankings as of this battle. How much did you enjoy Mallock the Malign vs. Captain Brickbeard vs. Dr. Inferno vs. K-2SO? 1 (Least) 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 (Most) Category:Season 3 Category:Round 3 Battles